Uncharted Territory
by Snoozegoof
Summary: A series of Mac/Stella moments of friendship and navigating what lies beyond. I suck at summaries!
1. Showers

**Hi guys! This is my first CSI:NY story, so reviews and criticism would be greatly appreciated. If you like this, I was planning on continueing and having each chapter be a specific Stella/Mac moment. I'm mainly an Eleventh Hour writer, but I wanted to try something new and love this relationship, but certainly let me know if I should stick with my area of expertise. Any suggestions for Mac/Stella moments would be welcomed as well. Thank you! Please R&R!**

**BTW: I don't own these characters, though I really wish I did, I'd get on with it and have them take a step togethur already! Sadly, I've already used my three wishes in a bottle...*sighs***

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Mac Taylor's well built frame stepped off the elevator and onto the floor of the lab. He was greeted with a few head nods and 'hey boss's. But he didn't stop walking, Stella Bonasera being at the front of his mind, obscuring all other items that may be in need of attention. His speed increased as he passed both of their offices with no sign of her. He stopped in his office just long enough to shed his blazer before he headed to the roof, still in search of her. Instead, he found another shaken woman there.

"Lindsay, you okay?" He asked softly, seeing the huddled young CSI on the bench.

"Yeah Mac, it was just…I can't believe people could do something like that…I mean to children, they were almost babies." She rubbed her belly absently, no doubt thinking of her own baby. They hadn't told Mac yet, but he knew. He had seen the dashes for the bathroom and Danny's overprotective side come into play many times recently. He was happy for them, they would certainly have their fair share of bumps along the way, but they would make wonderful parents.

"Why don't you take off for the rest of the day Linds, I'm sure Hawkes would be glad to cover for you. Go get some rest okay?" He knew it must have hit extra hard this time with Lindsay being pregnant. Child abuse cases were never easy, but certain factors drove it to the brink.

Lindsay nodded slowly and offered him a grateful smile, but made no move to get up. He patted her shoulder reassuringly before making his exit towards the stairs. His mind shifting through all the places Stella could be, and whether or not she would want him to find her after such a case. He knew her too well, and therefore knew she would be somewhere, trying desperately to hold back tears, not to show weakness. She wouldn't have gone to her apartment; he knew it didn't really feel like home to her. He couldn't really blame her, being attacked and then having the apartment set on fire under accidental, but tragic circumstances would make anyone feel a little displaced, and that was still when you had yet to factor in her upbringing, no home to rely on then either. _Head out of the clouds, Marine. You need to find her._ He reprimanded himself sternly. With the locker room being his next best bet he strode in stiff silence. As he stepped into the blue tiled communal locker, showers and bathrooms the sound of running water greeted his ears, melodied with the sound of quiet sobbing._ Stella._

The sound propelled him to the side of the shower stall instantly.

_Knock,knock._ "Stell?" He asked quietly. Her response was an incoherent moan and he knew she was trying to stop the crying, only resulting in gasping breaths. Upon hearing this; his mind suddenly mutinied him and he let his heart command the ship. Without fully comprehending his actions his hand reached for the handle of the stall door. Opening it wide he stepped into the fog filled shower. It took him no less than a moment to spot her huddled, with her knees to her chest in the corner, letting the water hit her right side as she tried to control her grief. His mind suddenly caught up, _Oh God, Stella, naked, shower, crying. Shit marine, you're in uncharted territory._ Of course he had seen Stella in various states of undress: after Frankie attacked her it had been a hospital gown, the lockers were communal so an occasional jeans and bra sighting wasn't rare. He always tried to be gentlemanly and avert his eyes as quickly as possible to award her some privacy. But he knew now he had come too far for privacy, the least he could do was level the playing field. It took an instant longer before all weapons were go, _She's your friend Mac, she needs you, even if she hates you tomorrow, she needs you right now. It's what we do. It's why you love her._ With that, he swiftly rid himself of his dress shirt, shoes and socks, leaving his trousers and white undershirt soaked with water and clinging to him.

She suddenly raised her head to look at him, her eyes glassy green with the haunting torment of a day of terrible work and a life of terrible circumstances. But also in the green orbs was forever a questioning curiosity, at the moment directed at him. He gazed back carefully at first, looking for any signs of fear or withdrawal, but saw none.

He slid his body down the wall beside her, his arms coming to wrap around her, as her naked form pressed against his barely clothed chest, he fought off the arousal and tried to focus on soothing her.

"Oh God Mac those kids…" She whimpered into his side, her fists claiming the fabric of his shirt near his neck. His heart shattered at her voice, so full of pain, not the kind of pain he had heard in Lindsay's voice. Her pain was that of imaging the scenarios, Stella's pain was of knowing full well the circumstances of how those kids were treated, and for that Mac Taylor, strong marine, choked on tears and held her closer.

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**Press the green button and review and suggest new moments please!! **


	2. Lavatories and Tears

**Thank you so much for all of your wonderful reviews and moment suggestions. Please continue to review and suggest Mac/Stella moments. This chapter was a suggestion by talkstoangels77. It takes place on the plane ride home from Greece, after the episode Grounds for Deception. Please R&R! Thank you!**

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The plane leveled out and the fasten seatbelt sign dissolved off the screen above their seats. Stella had been itching for this moment, barely being able to control the shaking in her hands and the urge the scream, vomit and weep all at that same time. She had been fine at the airport, and for the first part of the flight, she had remained cool and detached. She had let Mac take care of the travel arrangements; simply saying she wanted to be out of Greece as soon as humanly possible. He had guided her through the terminal, her bag over his shoulder, bringing her coffee while they waited for the boarding call, even gently massaging her hand when the plane took off; something she would have reveled in had the circumstances been different.

She leapt over his legs immediately after the disappearance of the fasten seatbelt sign, making a b-line for the lavatory, not noticing that he was right behind her. She attempted to close the door behind her, only to be stopped by his hand.

"Mac I need to…" Her voice trembled. The door clicked behind him, and in a swift motion he had her cradled against his chest, arms wrapped around her slim frame. With his touch the dam broke, and the full force of losing the last link to her biological family crashed like waves over her and she began to tremble uncontrollably, the tears now coming of their own accord.

His heart broke with the tremors that now shook through her as she choked out painful sobs. His right hand moved to massage small circles in between her shoulder blades, as his right arms encircled her waist and pulled her even closer to him. He could feel her tears staining his shirt where her face was buried in the fabric, but knew he would give up a million shirts, possibly dispose of all clothing if it could make her feel better. But he knew that simply being there for her was all he could accomplish, he would try his upmost best at it, and be whatever she needed. Yet deep down he was fighting off the clenching uncertainty that it may not be enough this time, that just maybe, she might not be able to pull through this one._ Shut it, Marine! You love her; hell knows she's sacrificed for you time and time again. You'll get her through this. That's an order._

Stella's crying was now ebbing down to small hiccups as he continued to rock her gently.

"Stella I'm so…" His words were interrupted by a sharp knock on the door. Stella pulled away from him and nodded towards the door, desperately trying to wipe the tear tracks from her face. Mac nodded and opened the door a crack.

"Sir, there are other passengers who need to use the lavatory." A nasally flight attendant droned at him.

"I'm very sorry. If you could just give us a few more minutes I would be…" He watched as the flight attendants eyes widened at the word 'us'.

"Sir, inappropriate lavatory conduct with another passenger is…" Mac scowled at where this conversation was going, Ms. Desperatley-Needs-Her-Deviated-Septum-Fixed, thought they were inducting themselves into the Mile High Club. Feeling awfully annoyed and slightly embarrassed he cut her off.

"Ma'me I'm with the NY Police Department, my partner isn't feeling well, it would be greatly appreciated if you gave us a few more minutes." His tone was forceful, when he needed to be he was very capable of becoming the commanding military man that he was. The flight attendant's eyes shimmered with anger and embarrassment before she gave a stiff nod of her head before turning away without offering an apology. Mac once again shut the lavatory door.

"What was that all about?" Stella asked shyly, though he was happy to hear she had more of her voice back again. She sat on top of the toilet seat and dabbed her eyes with sheets of toilet paper. Mac bent to roll another sheet of toilet paper around his finger, before wetting it in the sink. He decided not to answer her question, feeling that if she was dazed enough to have not heard the encounter, maybe in a few moments she would forget it ever happened. He knelt as far down in front of her as the small space would allow and began gently wiping dried mascara stains from her face.

"Mac?" He looked up at her, she was cocking her eyebrows at him in that way she does when she knows you're not telling her the whole story. _Damn, even after a breakdown she can still be cute. Get a grip, Marine!_ Mac's hand stopped wiping away the remnants of her grief.

"The uh flight attendant…she thought…well…I mean she misunderstood…and…well…she thought we…" Mac felt a surge of joy at the sound of Stella giggling at his sudden loss of words. Screw the heat that had crept up his neck as he had tried to explain the situation, she was almost laughing. Announcing over the intercom they had joined the mile high club would have been worth it to see the smile that was beginning to bloom on her face.

"Well she thought we were…you know." He supplied.

"Oh…I see." The pink hue that was now spreading over the bridge of her nose was far better than her earlier sheet white, and he was almost glad for the sign of normalcy. Suddenly she stood, drawing him up with her, and wrapped her arms around him in the warmest hug he had ever experienced.

"Thank you Mac. For following me to Greece, for helping me close this case, for following me to the bathroom, for being my best friend, and for always being there for me. I don't know what I would have ever done without you." With that she kissed him lovingly on the cheek, and shimmied past him and out of the lavatory. Leaving him somewhat stunned.

"Come on Mac," Stella exclaimed, grabbing his hand, "Smile, apparently you just joined the Mile High Club!"

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**Please keep sending reviews and moment suggestions, I love your input! Plus isn't that green button fun to click? **


	3. Personal

**Bear with me here guys. This one was on a whim. But hey Mac and Stella have been togethur long enough to have had at least one personal health issue right? Please say yes so I don't feel like an idiot. Let me know if this one should have a sequel chapter. Once again thank you so much for your wonderful reviews and moment suggestions. Please R&R and don't hesitate to tell me if this one was terrible. Thank you!**

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Stella Bonasera shuffled into Mac's office. He looked up immediately with a faint smile on his lips, the soft set of his eyes reserved just for her. But she didn't seem to notice, in fact she seemed so lost in thought she almost lost her footing on the slight incline in the flooring.

"Whoa Stella, are you alright?" He was concerned by her deer in the head lights expression. But before he could question her further, her walls were back up, iron gates closed and she had her mind set on work, and he knew now was not the time to question her.

"Flack went to pick up Greg Santino, ballistic match a gun registered to him. We have a warrant for DNA and if it matches what Hawkes found on the vics pants then we have our guy." She said in a cool all business tone, but Mac did not miss the part of her that was still not entirely there with him in his office.

"That's good. I'll sign those files if you'd like." He said softly, indicating with his pen the files she was holding in the crook of her arm. She looked from him to the files with a confused expression, then it registered.

"Oh. Ok that would be good. If you could just leave them on my desk when you're done that would be great. I'm headed out for the night." She said as she handed over the manila folders.

"Ok." Mac answered, perplexed by her behavior, he placed the folders on his desk and watched as she exited his office without the usual spring in her step. Whatever it was that was bothering her must be very personal. After Frankie, the HIV scare, Ella McBride, and Greece, they were fairly open with most things that went on…well they were getting to be fairly open. He kept telling himself that they had time, that it was a work in progress, but that speech never seemed to stem the feeling of immense guilt he got when he saw the flicker of hope die in her eyes, after he refused to open up to her.

He sighed deeply and removed himself from his chair. He had been lost in his thoughts for over half an hour now, and needed the bathroom. On his walk to the communal locker rooms and bathrooms he resolved to talk to Stella tomorrow, if not tonight. Whatever she was processing, he would help, he wanted to be as involved as possible, after all she was his best friend, and he loved her.

Pushing the locker room door wide he spotted Stella sitting on a bench staring absently at her hands. Concern washing over him, he knocked lightly on the back of the door, he knew she was spacey and didn't want to startle her. She looked up at him, conflict and deep thought etched in her eyes, but she still tried her best fake smile.

"Hey Mac." She greeted him, trying to keep her voice from quivering. He came to sit next to her on the bench, completely forgetting ever needing to use the restroom; Stella had a tendency to make him forget all prior plans and simply focus on her.

"Stella what's going on?" He decided to ask flat out, there was no use beating around the bush; she would just find some way to evade him.

"I'm fine Mac. It's been a long day that's all." It was a feeble attempt and he knew her better than that. She got up and opened her locker, beginning to rearrange things in a nervous fashion. He knew she needed something to do with her hands at the moment, so he didn't try to stop her. They had come to know each other's mannerisms to an extent where it was no longer analyzed, just accepted as a part of their personalities.

"It'll be ok Stel, whatever it is, I'm here." He knew this was all he could offer at the moment. If he pushed too much, she would just push right back, and it would end in an argument, and that was the last thing he wanted. She turned to face him, fiddling with her fingers and not meeting his eyes.

"I'm late Mac." She stated simply, sighing as her shoulders sagged with the weight of what she had just shared with him. He sat, confused for a moment. Her shift was over, so she wasn't tardy. Oh…_Oh._ Every nerve in his body suddenly lit fire. She was sleeping with someone, and she hadn't even told him she was seeing anyone. He was consumed with anger, but not at Stella, at whomever it was that hadn't been careful enough, whoever it was that had put her in this position. He stood slowly, coming to stand directly in front of her.

"Have…have you taken a pregnancy test?" Suddenly her eyes flashed up at him, her expression unreadable at first, then as if a light bulb went off it cleared into a look of understanding, and then embarrassment. She was going to have to explain.

"No Mac I'm not….I mean I haven't….not since Frankie….I mean I tried….but I just….I couldn't…" She was now staring at the floor, a rosy red color creeping up her neck and across her face. Mac took hold of her hands, trying to comfort her. Now he was really confused.

"Then why...?" He let the question dwindle off, knowing she caught his meaning. She removed his hands from his and turned back to her locker, too embarrassed to continue looking at him.

"Some women…they uh…stop…younger than others….and I don't….I mean I never knew my mother….so I don't know if….God Mac what if I can't have kids?," He knew she was crying slightly at this point, finally admitting to the secret worry that had been tormenting her. "I mean I know I'm not exactly super young anymore but I still thought…I don't know…maybe someday…with the right guy…you know what Mac? This is really stupid, I shouldn't have told you any of this, I'm probably just overreacting." She sniffed and tried to covertly wipe away the tears, but his thumb beat her to it. He silently marveled at how complicated women were.

"Stella please don't be sorry you told me. I'm glad you did, and Stel, if something concerns you it's never stupid. Ok?" She nodded and leaned into him slightly, he gently wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer, tucking her head beneath his chin. They both silently thanked whatever higher forces were responsible for their bond, both knowing full well they would not be able to get through the chaos and trials of life without each other. After a few moments of silence, Mac gently pulled away and looked her in the eye.

"Have you spoken with a doctor?" He asked gently, now that she had told him, he wanted to find out what was causing this. She shook her head gently.

"I always found those kinds of doctor's visits…well…unnerving." She admitted sheepishly, ducking her head. Mac chuckled, remembering Claire's shell shocked expression after coming back from the gynecologist for the first time.

"How about Hawkes, do you think you could talk to him?" At this her head reared up and she pinned him with dagger eyes.

"Ok, guess not. What if…what if I came with you to the doctor? I mean I don't want to embarrass you… but if it would help…I mean I could wait outside the office…maybe just drive you or something…"He didn't want to make her feel like a child who needed her hand to be held, but he knew she was probably very uncomfortable, he at least wanted to offer. She stopped his rambling by pulling him into a tight hug.

"Thank you Mac. That would really help." With that she shut her locker and took him by the hand. Making their way to her office to call the doctor and make an appointment, leaving the slightly shocked Mac wondering what his first visit to the gynecologist would be like.

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**Was it terrible? Should it have a sequel at the doctor's office? Should I delete it? Can you tell I can't make my own desicions? Press the green button and tell me how you're feeling please!**


	4. Appointments

**HI guys! Do you know what happened to the Document Manager yesterday? It like went wonkers and wouldn't open. Anywho...this is the sequel the chapter three, there will also be one after this....maybe two. But it's kinda up to you. I'm having major writers block, and need people to review and send next chapter suggestions, cuz I have no idea what to do here!(Well I have a few ideas...but urs are always better.) So please R&R, and pray that the Document Manager doesn't have another fir today! Thank you!**

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Mac and Stella reached her office a few moments after leaving the locker room. He held the door for her as he always did, but she entered with a bit of uncertainty. Walking in the direction of the phone that sat atop her desk, but not picking it up.

"Stella?" Was all he had to say before she turned to him, fiddling with her fingers again.

"Mac, maybe I'm over reacting. We just closed a big case. It's probably nothing." At this point he knew she was saying this aloud more for her own benefit than for his, and he knew she didn't believe a word of it.

"Stella what's the number?" He asked softly. She handed him her rolodex and pointed to the appropriate card. He dialed the number, and held the phone against his ear while massaging the back of her hand with his thumb in an effort to reassure her.

"_Manhattan Women's clinic, how can I help you?"_

"Hi, I'd like to make an appointment for Stella Bonasera, she's a patient of ." Mac told the cold voice on the other end, reading off the card.

"_I'm sorry Sir, is no longer with this clinic. has taken his place, would you like to make an appointment with him?"_ The woman sounded incredibly annoyed, as if Mac should have known didn't work there anymore.

"Yes, that would be fine."

"_Alright he has a 4 pm tomorrow. That's the best I can do until next Monday." _The woman rattled off. Mac had to stop his head from reeling. _Tomorrow._ He thought they would have to wait longer than that. He thought he would have time to do some research, and mentally prepare himself for what he had volunteered for. He would do anything for Stella, and this was no exception, but he had to admit he was nervous…he'd never been to _that_ kind of doctor before.

"Alright, tomorrow will be fine. Thank you." He felt Stella tense beside him as he hung up the phone.

"Four o'clock tomorrow. Ok?" He now took both her hands in his and squeezed gently. She stared past him out the window of her office.

"Tomorrow…that's soon." Mac just nodded gently, knowing she was probably thinking some of the same things he had been earlier, but he also knew her too well. He knew she would want this over with as soon as possible, she would want a definitive answer, Stella Bonasera always wanted all the facts.

With one last caress of her hand, he let go.

"Come on, neither of us has eaten yet. I'm thinking Chinese." Stella smiled gratefully up at him before wrapping slender arms around his waist and leaning into him. He knew her so well, and though she was incredibly nervous as to what tomorrow would bring, she trusted Mac Taylor explicitly, and knew he would be there for her…no matter what the outcome.

They both inwardly resolved to think of happier things as they strolled out of the lab. A quiet booth in one of their favorite restaurants awaited them. When they parted their separate ways, Stella would be up worried sick all night. And Mac would do as much research on the internet as he could on the subject. But until then…they simply enjoyed the spring rolls together.

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**Press the green button and tell me how you're feeling please!**


	5. Nervous

**Hi! Sorry I haven't been able to update...writers block. I need reviews very badly. Should I keep going with this? I promise it only be two more chapters of continuing chapters before I go back to moment vignettes. Should Dr. Philips be a cocky young guy fresh our of med school? Or a caring woman in her sixties? Which would work better. BTW, I have very limited gynecological experience, so I apologize in advance if I get things wrong. Please review and help me out with where this should go!**

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The next day brought paper work for both Mac and Stella, seeing as the citizens of New York had decided to take the day off from all evil, and there were no new cases. As a result, they didn't get a chance to see each other until Mac walked into her office, jacket on and keys in hand ready to go. She glanced up at him as he came through the glass framed door.

"Ready Freddy?" He asked in a teasing manner, he was incredibly apprehensive about this appointment. He was questioning his role: was he just driving her? Did he go in and sit in the waiting room? Or was he really, really in this with her, stirrups and trans-vaginal ultrasounds and all? But he was determined to make this as easy on Stella as possible.

Stella glanced from him to the paperwork on her desk. He saw what was coming within an instant and was reaching for her coat on the hook and grabbing her purse off the couch.

"Mac, I've still got a lot of work here maybe we should just…" He gently pulled her up by the hands, folding her coat over her arm, placing her purse strap in her open palm and guided her towards the exit.

"It'll be ok Stella." He spoke gently beside her in the elevator, placing his hand on the small of her back and massaging in small circles.

She stared at the floor for most of this ordeal, she wanted to tell him she felt sick and didn't think she could go, which even though it sounds like an excuse, was the God honest truth. Her insides felt like they were doing the Mexican chaha and her heart kept it's own measure by doing the tango. But she knew this was the nerves. Stella Bonesara prided herself on not being afraid of anything, then after Frankie she prided herself on not being afraid of most things, today she nearly fell out of her chair with fright when Hawkes had entered the office unannounced and the door squeaked.

She leaned into the warmth of the man standing next to her, drawing comfort and strength from the calming mix of his laundry detergent and Old Spice aftershave. She knew sooner or later she would have to ask him the question that has been on the front of her mind all day. Rearing the courage, she decided it was best to ask now, without an audience.

"Mac…I was…could you…would it….I just…" Mac chuckled slightly, and Stella relaxed as she felt the vibrations go through her. She had stuttered more in the past day and half than she had in the whole time they had known each other.

"Whatever it is Stella, just ask." He had stopped chuckling now. He knew what she was going to ask. They did that. Knew what the other was thinking or going to say or was about to do. But he needed to hear her ask anyway, he needed to know that it was really what she wanted, that she would go to enough trouble to worry her pretty little head about it.

"If it doesn't make you too uncomfortable…would you mind coming in with me? I mean if you have plans or if…." Her words dwindled off as he leaned in and placed a feathery kiss on her temple.

"I'm with you the whole way." He said simply. She stared at him for a moment, then offered a shy smile, grateful for his answer, though she had known he would never have refused her. They broke their gaze and waited in silence for the elevator to reach the garage, both their minds whirring over the kiss, and all the lines that were becoming blurred in their relationship.

The ride to the clinic was spent in companionable silence. Stella had let Mac drive since she had taken the subway into work this morning. To people who didn't know Stella, they would have said she simply looked tired, but Mac saw the clenched hands and white knuckles, he had seen the slight trembling when she buckled her seat belt.

His research the previous night had been informative, but didn't clearly pinpoint an answer or condition. Though there had been no one in his apartment with him, he had still blushed deeply as he read the articles. He had been married once sure, but he and Claire had never talked about the intimate part of their relationship, or any other bodily functions for that matter. Mac had never realized until Stella, his strong, rough and tough Stella, who had been through so much, broke at the thought that she might not be able to have children.

He was pulled from his speculative thoughts by his navigation system beeping, signaling that they had come upon their desired location. The clinic was a large brick building with an adjacent parking lot.

They walked in and gave their name to the nurse at the front desk. She handed Stella forms to fill out and Stella handed over cash for her insurance co-pay.

Mac's CSI observation skills immediately kicked in. He surveyed the waiting room; it was about two thirds pregnant women. Some husbands or boyfriends here and there, and a group of just barely teenage girls sitting in a corner, talking nervously amongst themselves. Mac leaned over to Stella from where they were seated, somewhat distanced from everyone else.

"Stella, what would they be doing here?" He whispered. To him they looked entirely all too young.

"Sometimes girls feel more comfortable with their first exam if a friend comes. Or maybe their parents sent them, sometimes adults have problems talking to their kids about…well you know…all the bodily functions, so they make appointments for them just to talk with a physician. My foster parents did it. That or one of the girls might be pregnant." Stella whispered back into his ear, all the while clicking the pen she had received with the now finished forms. Her leg bobbed up and down, and Mac placed his hand on her knee to steady it, giving a light squeeze. He couldn't believe his internal reaction to the answer she had given, he hated that she had to learn the facts of life from a cold medical professional, instead of her own mother. Puberty was hard enough as it was, but add the feeling of loneliness and not being able to talk to someone about it, that made it infinitely worse. Granted his own growing up experience hadn't been peachy perfect, his father had been a marine, and therefore did not do touchy feely, but Mac still always knew that there was someone there for him. He sat through the familiar pang of wanting to hold Stella closely and tell her she was safe and loved. He always wanted to do this, but even more so when she referred to the traumas in her life, even the ones she never spoke of, he could still feel the scraping within in his chest when the haunted look of sorrow crossed over her beautiful features. He was pulled from his thoughts for the umpteenth time that day as a nurse called Stella's name.

They stood and followed her down the hall past many doors and into a small exam with an adjoining bathroom. The squat black haired nurse handed Stella a hospital gown and nodded towards the bathroom.

"Take off everything except your bra, you can just leave it all in the bathroom for now. The doctor will be in shortly." With that she left abruptly and closed the door behind her. Stella fought hard to keep her composure as the claustrophobia she felt was heightened by her nervousness. Mac stepped forward, trying his best to keep his diverted from the posters that graced the walls. Needless to say they left very little to the imagination. He opened the bathroom door and took her coat and purse from her hands. He placed them on the plastic chair next to the exam table. The looked back to her and put on his best teasing smile.

"Get a move on Bonasera. I'm not going to have to help you undress am I?" With that she was out of her stupor and blushing slightly, shuffling towards the bathroom. Before shutting the door, she looked back at him with a flirtatious sparkle in her eyes.

"Not a chance Taylor." With that she closed the door.

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**Sorry...I've never been able to write a cliff hanger before and couldn't resist the temptation. I also need help with where I should take this story. Review and suggest what you want to read please! I would sooo appreciate it!**


	6. The End

**Here we go folks the final addition of this little story...but not the end of the Mac/Stella moments. So if you have more moment ideas, I'm all ears(Terrible mental image isn't it?). I apologoze in advance if any of the medical stuff is wrong. I also do now own CSI NY or it's characters....no matter how much I want to. Read and tell me what you think please!**

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Stella emerged from the bathroom wearing the skimpy hospital gown just as the doctor walked in. She was a very attractive woman, looking to be in her early sixties. She smiled kindly at Stella and nodded to Mac.

"Hello Stella, I'm Dr. Phillips. Would you like to take a seat on the table and we'll get started. I just want to ask some routine questions first." She shook Stella's hand and nodded towards the exam table covered in paper. Mac stood back awkwardly, still slightly reeling from seeing Stella in so little clothing. But Dr. Phillips saved him by stepping forward and shaking his hand as well.

"Hello, are you her boyfriend?" Dr. Phillips was always intrigued by the varied relationships she saw as a woman's doctor. She could already tell these two shared some form of close bond, but there was no record of Stella Bonesara being married.

"He's my…best friend." Stella said from where she was now seated atop the exam table, covering her knees in the sheet that had been left there. Dr. Phillips smiled understandingly, even though she thought they looked like more.

"Ah, well why don't you have a seat?" She gestured towards the two chairs positioned next to the exam table. Mac sat and glanced at Stella before drilling his eyes into the laminate floor, still not sure where to look. The doctor positioned herself on the metal stool next to the desk.

"Alright Stella, I see from your chart it's been a while since your last appointment. But I'll try not to give you a lecture about making routine appointments." The doctor smiled wryly. Stella looked down at her hands, now placed in her lap.

"I've been busy." She stated simply. Mac felt the same pang in his chest as years of working with domestic violence victims told him that Stella had evaded this type of doctors' visit after Frankie. He knew she hadn't been raped, but the psychological impact of having an intimate relationship with someone who then turned on you was scarring.

"Well you're here now and that's what counts. Ok, when was your last menstrual cycle?" She now had her pen poised over Stella's chart. Mac felt a surge of pride at being able to keep the pink flush from creeping up his neck at this question.

"Seven week ago." Stella continued to stare at her hands, dreadfully embarrassed that she had to endure the questions with Mac there, but also immensely comforted by his presence, she knew if it got to be too much for her, he was there. He would make it all ok. Dr. Phillips looked up.

"Are you sexually active?" Stella had known this would be asked. She realized that when she originally told Mac in the locker rooms about her worry, she had also admitted that it had been a long time since she'd been with anyone. But admitting it again made her turn a deep crimson.

"No."

"Hmm, how old were you when you first started your cycles?"

Mac watched as Stella shuddered at what he knew was most likely a terrible memory.

"Thirteen." She answered. Mac tried to picture the scenario involving a thirteen year old Stella. He too shuddered at the thought of her in a foster home, having the landmarks in her life be traumatic instead of a celebration of her growing up.

"Have you always been somewhat irregular?" Dr. Phillips's voice drew Mac out of his imaginative replay of her childhood.

"Yes." Dr. Phillips scanned the chart and found the report three years ago from when Stella was given a rape kit. She knew it was not uncommon for someone's body to react to traumatic events by being thrown off schedule. Dr. Ryder had also included a few vague notes stating that Stella had not known her parents, and therefore was unaware of any hereditary conditions. It was also very typical in someone with such an unstable upbringing to have a temperamental body.

"Alright Stella, we'll do the exam now. From what you've told me so far it could be a number of things causing the absence of a cycle. But none of them are very serious or particularly alarming, so try not to worry too much ok?" Mac felt lighter than he had in the past two days, she hadn't done the exam yet, but she didn't think it was serious. He watched as Stella shoulders dropped an inch, she had been so tense. She knew she wasn't out of the woods yet, but hearing that it didn't sounds serious she almost leapt off the table to do a victory dance. But she refrained.

Dr. Phillips looked in Mac's direction.

"Are you going to be staying for the exam?" Mac met Stella's eyes.

"Yes." He stated. Stella let out a sigh of relief.

"Ok Stella, could you lie back for me?" Dr. Phillips saw Stella visibly go rigid. She turned to Mac and kept her voice a whisper.

"Could you stand behind the table and talk to her? Try and keep her as relaxed as possible, it will make the exam much easier." Mac nodded and stood. He positioned himself just behind the table, leaning his hips into it to be as close to her as possible. Dr. Phillips pulled the platforms out for Stella to rest her feet on, and gently pulled the sheet off. Stella grabbed Mac's hand as the sheet exposed her long, tanned legs. Mac felt her fingers trembling gently in his palm and squeezed back gently. _Jesus Marine, what the hell do you talk about while at a gynecologist appointment with your best friend that you secretly have romantic feelings for? Shit, ok, take it easy, you have to keep her calm._

"Hey Stel, you wanna rent a movie later tonight? Just promise me no musicals." In all honesty Mac would watch anything with her, but he had to keep up his dignity.

"Come on Mac, I know just how much you love My Fair Lady."

"Alright fine, just don't tell Flack and Danny. I will lose all standing as a boss _and_ a man." Stella laughed shakily.

"Lindsay told me Danny loves Phantom of the Opera, so even though he plays tough you'll be fine in his books. Flack's the one you should worry about." At this Mac was the one laughing. The sound that rumbled through his chest relaxed Stella. Dr Phillips smiled warmly at their teasing conversation. They continued like this for a few more minutes, Stella tensing and relaxing throughout.

"Ok Stella, I'm done here. I'll go send these cultures off to the lab. You can get dressed and I'll be right back." Stella nodded and sat up, once again retrieving the sheet she wrapped it around herself and walked towards the bathroom.

Mac raked a hand through his short brown hair and sighed. Stella re-emerged from the bathroom fully clothed, but wouldn't meet his eye as she went to sit in one of the plastic chairs flanking the exam table where Mac still stood.

His heart broke because he knew what she was doing. She was preparing herself for bad news; she was getting ready to push him away because she was too scared to have him see her grieve for something he didn't understand. He mentally berated himself and wondered if he should have told Lindsay and had her talk to Stella, woman to woman. But he knew that would have only hurt more. Lindsay and Danny were dealing with every emotion on the face of the planet with her pregnancy, but he knew that they were both incredibly happy, and Stella wouldn't want anything to mar their happiness, even if it meant her own suffering. So as Mac sat beside her again, he decided no matter how sticky it got, he was going to be there, right beside her from now on. Even if the outcome bore no ill fate, he wanted the walls she had knocked down for him to stay in rubble and not be re-built. He wanted her to share everything with him, all the traumas and secrets and pain and the little joys. He wanted it all.

Dr. Phillips knocked twice rapidly and entered before either Stella or Mac could tell her to. Mac had always wondered why doctors did that.

"Ok Stella. I didn't find anything suspicious on your exam except for some old scar tissue." At this Stella eyes grew steely and Mac felt fury at whoever had been less than kind and gentle with her in the past.

"The blood test and culture results should be back in about four days and my office will give you a call if there's anything abnormal. In the meantime I'm going to give you some oral medication right now, and also write you a prescription. That scar tissue isn't an issue now but in a few years it might be, this medication might make you a bit nauseas and dizzy, so refrain from driving or operating any heavy machinery. You might also have some light spotting, but don't expect your cycle to start for another twenty one days or so. Alright? Do you have any questions?" Stella and Mac both shook their heads and said their thank-you's. Stella swallowed small yellow pill with a paper cup of water and stood up. They left in silence, Stella saying she would call in to make another appointment instead of making one at the desk. Mac knew she just wanted to get out of there as fast as humanly possible. He held the door of the Avalanche open for her and she stepped in. The drive to her apartment was spent in contemplating silence, Mac knowing he wouldn't be able snap her out of her head space, and wanting some time to think on his own. Noticing she was growing increasingly more pale and clutching the armrest mercilessly, he decided he would take her straight home and fill her prescription later. She let the steel bar that ran around the perimeter of the elevator help support her on their way up to her floor. Reaching her apartment Mac pulled out his key after noticing just how badly her hands were shaking and unlocked the door. The quick pressure on the back of his shoulder surprised him and he turned just quickly enough to see her rush past him in a dash for the bathroom.

He closed and locked the door, shed his coat and followed her. He nudged open the bathroom door. She hadn't shut it fully in her rush. Her forehead was resting on the cool ceramic toilet bowl after having thrown up. Mac grabbed a wash cloth and soaked it with cold water in the sink before ringing it out to make it damp. He knelt behind her and gently wrapped his arms around her waist, bringing her back enough to lean on his chest, her body settled between his legs. He held the cold compress to her forehead, knowing it would help the vertigo she was most likely feeling right about now.

"Wow," She mumbled.

"My boss just watched me puke my guts out."

"Don't worry I don't think he'll put it in your evaluation. Besides it's kind of par for the day right? Plus today, as like most days, I'm your best friend…not your boss. Come on, let's get you to the couch, I don't think you're going to be sick again." He stood the both of them up. Realizing that she was far too dizzy to walk, he gently picked her up, trying to stop his mind from marveling at how right she felt in his arms. He carried her gingerly to the couch and placed her on it, propping her up with a few cushions and covering her with a nearby afghan.

"Hey Mac?" She asked quietly

"Yeah Stella?"

"I know we just got back from the bathroom, but would you mind walking me over there again?" She asked sheepishly. He jumped up from where he was sitting in a lounge chair a few feet away. In actuality it had been about twenty minutes, but Stella had fallen asleep and with the effects of the medicine, probably didn't have very good time orientation right now.

"Do you feel sick again?" He asked quickly, knowing she probably didn't want to vomit on her rug and wanting to get her to the bathroom as quickly as possible if she was feeling ill.

"No just a little light headed. I just need to use the restroom." She stood and swayed slightly, Mac reaching out to steady her.

"Of course." She slid her arms around his waist and leaned into him as they made their way across her living room and into the hallway. They stopped outside the door of the bathroom and she smiled up at him.

"Thanks."

"No Problem." He smiled back.

He waited right outside the door for her, wanting to be able to help her if she was too dizzy. He heard a small curse come through the door and immediately his heart quickened.

"Stella?" He rapped lightly on the door with his knuckle.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine Mac." She stated quietly

"Stella, please…" He wanted to help so badly it almost hurt. But he was startled when he heard the toilet flush, the sink turn on and off and Stella opened the door. He smiled but it faded when he noticed how flushed her cheeks were. He brought his hand up to caress one but stopped midair, thinking better of it.  
'Stell what's wrong?" He asked huskily

"Mac…would you mind doing me a favor?" She was now staring at the ground, she couldn't believe that with all they had been through together today, and all he had probably seen she was embarrassed to be asking him this. But she was new to trusting someone this much, and having them be this much a part of her life. She had had boyfriends sure, but they just dropped by shortly with soup when she was sick. Mac acted as if he would cater to her every whim gladly. But she had realized today that it would always be him, and only him that got let in this far, that got trusted this much.

"Anything." He answered honestly.

"Well umm…would you mind running to the drug store for me?" She asked sheepishly, the blush now taking over her neck and face.

"Do you want me to fill your prescription?"

"No, well yeah actually, you can do that while you're there I guess… if you don't mind. But I uh need something else."

"I don't mind at all. What do you need?" He had a sneaking suspicion of course, he was a CSI after all, and not completely oblivious. She wouldn't be this embarrassed if she was asking him to buy her some pepto-bismol and a candy bar.

"Umm…well…" She was being a wimp and she knew it. Mac let her off easy.

"What brand Stell?" Her head reared up at this and she couldn't help the smile that took over her face. Of course he knew. He beamed back at her and felt his heart warm when she reached out to wrap her arms around him. He enveloped her and held her against his chest, both reveling in the familiar feel of holding one another, but how it already felt different, more exciting, more promising. After a while Mac knew the longer they did this the less able he would be to control how much he wanted her.

"Stella?"

"Mhhm." She mumbled against the crook of his neck, sending shivers down his spine.

"You should probably let go of me now." She looked up at him, statrtled and confused.

"Why?"

"I have to go buy tampons."

They both burst out laughing and continued holding one another.

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**It's cheesey, it's corny(have you noticed they're both foods?). But please tell me what you think and what my next endevour should be! Love you guys!**


	7. Relationships

**Thank you all so much for the reviews! I have absolutley no idea where this little thing came from, but I'm gonna blame it on the fact that it's about 2 am. Sound good? As always please tell me what you think and suggest things you wanna read!**

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Mac dropped his pen atop the folders with a sigh, and leaned back in his chair, taking in the view from his office as the last few lab techs shutdown machines for the night. He frowned slightly to himself, where was Stella? He re-arranged his desk for a moment and then exited his office, in search of the woman he loved.

They had been dating for nearly three months now. After Greece their dynamic had changed, it still felt comfortable and they shared a friendly intimacy, but after holding Stella in his arms while she cried over the traumatic loss of her mentor and friend, he knew he always wanted to be the one to hold her, but he also knew he didn't just want it to be when her world was caving in around her and she needed someone to hold her up. He wanted to be there to drape his arms around her waist in the morning when she was brushing her teeth, to place lingering kisses on her neck while she was making dinner, to take care of her and force-feed her cough medicine when she wasn't feeling well. He wanted to be there for every moment of the day with her, he wanted to watch all the little emotions cross her face, to see the humorous glint in her eye and the playful smile he wanted to see the empathy and compassion when she talked to victims, even though it pained him that she could identify so closely with some of them.

She had found him on the roof two weeks after Greece, contemplating what he was supposed to do about his feelings towards her. They had stood side by side for a few moments before Stella turned to him and place a kiss in the side of his chin, then one next to his mouth and one on his neck. He wrapped his arms around her and held on for dear life, and it had been all the conversation they needed, both had the answers to their questions in those kisses and that embrace. They went to restaurants occasionally, but mostly ate in and watched movies in the limited time they had in their busy schedules.

But something had changed last night. They had cooked together and eaten at his place, but when he went to kiss her goodnight it had turned into their first full blown make-out session. It had been tender and shy at first, then passionate and desire filled. But Stella had pulled back a few minutes into it and left abruptly, leaving a confused and concerned Mac with his own door slammed in his face. Had he crossed a line she wasn't ready for yet? Had he hurt her? Did she not want this anymore? Needless to say it had been a sleepless and agitating night for Mac, his mind refused to stop creating ways he might have hurt her and his body refused to forget the way her lips felt moving against his and the way her form felt pressed against his own.

She had successfully avoided him all day due to the fact that they had headed up separate cases. He knew she needed to talk it out, whatever the hell _it_ was, and they hadn't told anyone about their relationship, they knew their friends would be supportive and love the idea of them being together, but they felt as if they were in their own little world and loved sharing glances over the heads of their co-workers, the secret smiles and small blushes and stomach fluttering had been fun the past few months. But it also meant she couldn't confide in someone about their relationship, she had no Lindsay to go to and share her secrets with, she had no Sid for creepy stories and no Danny for inappropriate remarks.

He neared her office and through the glass walls witnessed a sight he never thought he would see, it re affirmed that she was definitely worried about something. Her soft curls spilled over her shoulders and she brushed them back in annoyance and began clicking her pen. Mac knocked softly on the glass door before pushing it open, he watched her jump slightly at the intrusion. His heart warmed as a faint smile graced her lips, but he was reminded of his original mission as he watched apprehension cloud her expression.

"Hey Mac." She turned her swivel chair in his direction, still clicking her pen.

"Hey Stel. How goes the paperwork?" He moved to lean against the large metal bookcase that stood against the wall opposite her desk.

"I swear if I see one more incident report or have to file one more evidence log I'm going to burn the place." She said in a teasing tone, but the strain was evident to Mac.

"What's up Stella?" He knew she would evade him if possible, so it was best just to ask.

"Look Mac I'm sorry about last night, I was tired and it was late, it had been a long day. I'm sorry if I offended you."

"You didn't offend me Stella, I just want to make sure you're…we're ok."

"We're fine Mac."

"I don't think we are. Please Stella, whatever it is you know I'll do whatever I can to help, or if you need something or if I hurt you in anyway…" He dwindled off, not convinced his voice wouldn't break when he told her how much he cared for her, and how terrible he felt that she was in distress. Stella sighed and leaned back in her chair, eyes closed for a moment.

"Mac I know you would never hurt me, I just…we almost…well we could have…I mean…I just don't know…Dammit! You know what, never mind. It's really no big deal, just forget it ok?" She pressed the heel of her palms into her eyes and rubbed fiercely, trying to disguise the tears as irritated eyes. Mac was before her immediately, gently pulling her wrists and taking her hands in his bigger, more callused ones, silently urging her to continue.

"Mac I'm just…so confused, I haven't done this in a long time and…well I kind of don't remember how it works…crap that sounded wrong…I mean I obviously know how _it_ works…but…are we going to use protection?...If so which one of us is going to supply it?...Geez I haven't bought condoms in a really long time…Whose apartment are we going to stay at or is it just going to be spontaneous?....Should we start keeping overnight bags at each other's apartments?...I mean are we even going to have sex?…crap maybe I'm way over reading last night…God I just…I just want this to be right Mac…I don't want to disappoint you." She ended her ramble in a soft voice and pulled away from him slightly, looking down at her suddenly vastly amusing shoes. All Mac could do was step forward and pull her into his tightest embrace, rocking her back and forth gently in his arms. He marveled at how she had kept all her concerns hidden from him so well and hated himself for not somehow being able to assuage her worries before now.

"Come here Stel." He pulled her over to the couch in her office and sat her down close to him, leaning her back against his chest so they could look out over Manhattan and talk about the statement she'd just made.

"I'm so sorry you were this worried Stella, but I'm so glad you told me. Please whenever things like this come up in our relationship, tell me, ok? We're in this together and I always want to know what you're thinking no matter how silly you might think it is, it's important to me, deal?" Stella nodded slightly and leaned back further into Mac's chest, amazed that simply by telling him her fears she felt so much better, but then to have him state that even her smallest whims were of importance to him…wow. Mac took a deep breath and forged headlong into the next order of business.

"Stella there's absolutely no pressure to do anything in our relationship you don't want to. If you don't think we're ready to have sex yet, or if you feel at all uncomfortable, please just say so. I'm very sorry that I let my attraction to you control my actions last night, and if I scared you in any way please forgive me. I'll try my best not to let it happen again without your express permission. Sex is a very big deal Stella; it's a big step and a huge commitment, not at all something to be taken lightly. Believe me I will treasure every minute our intimacy when the time comes, but more than anything I want you to feel comfortable and safe and I know that's going to take time, so I can wait. But…you have some very good practical questions that we need to address. I believe the first was what form of protection we plan on using?" Mac coughed somewhat awkwardly, this was a conversation he had never had before. With Claire they had been married so there was no need for condoms, though she did take birth control, and with Peyton there had been no conversation, it was just a given that they had used protection.

"I guess we don't really need to use condoms…I'm on birth control and we're both healthy and in a stable relationship." She listed off the clinical reasons somewhat distractedly…she had never been with a man without using a condom before. Mac noticed.

"What is it Stel?" He knew it wasn't simply embarrassment that had caused her far off look.

"I've never…not had latex between me and someone else." She stated softly, once again tensing against him.

"Then we'll use protection if that makes you more comfortable."

"No Mac I…I trust you."

"Stella there no pressure here…" Stella cut him off.

"Mac, I love you and therefore I trust you." She turned around to face him. He wore a slightly stunned expression.

"You love me?"

"More than anything. I would never have had this conversation with anyone else, I trust you explicitly Mac, with my body, my life and my heart." She kissed him on the lips tenderly. Hoping for the reply he willingly gave.

"I love you too Stella, you mean absolutely everything to me, and thank you for putting your trust in me, I promise to never take it for granted." He cupped her cheek with his hand and kissed her softly, only to have it be more than reciprocated by her. She ran her tongue gently over his lower lip and reveled in the feeling of him shuddering slightly. She pulled back and kissed him firmly before standing up, leaving Mac somewhat dazed but completely ecstatic.

"Dinner at my place? I'm thinking we order in pizza and maybe watch Casablanca?" She smiled broadly while grabbing her coat.

"Right behind you, well beside you actually." He snaked his arm around her waist as they walked towards the elevators.

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**I told you it was kinda odd. Anywho...please tell me what you thought and what you wanna see. I've got several other little chapters that I've started from your moment suggestion that should be up eventually. Tell me what you wanna see from our wonderful Mac and Stella!(Isn't that green button fun too? I mean you press it and this little box pops up...I mean who wouldn't wanna try it?!)**


	8. Tonight and Tomorrow

**Not really sure I like this one, but the same thing that posessed me to write it posessed me to post it! Takes place after season 3 Cold Reveal. I know technicly Peyton would have been in the picture, and I have nothing against the woman personally, she seemed very nice...but I love Stella and Mac too much. So without further ado...btw please review!**

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Stella's knuckles were now sore and blotchy red from rapping on Mac's apartment door repeatedly. She heaved a sigh, but knew her mind wouldn't rest until she was certain he was alright. The aftermath of Clay Dobson's jump had thrust Mac into a web of messy politics and a maze of revelations as to his own ethics.

She dug out the apartment key he had entrusted her with and jiggled the door open. Immediately being greeted with the sound of running water coming from the bathroom, she turned her attention to making tea, knowing he would be offended if she didn't make herself at home. She knew his kitchen as well as her own and felt her lips turn upward slightly at the military inflicted OCD that caused Mac to strategically arrange the tea and coffee cabinet in order of preference and popularity, her favorite Earl Grey next to his favorite Green Mountain Blend. Stella leaned her hip into the counter while slowly stirring in sugar; the sound of the metal spoon scraping against the porcelain mug mixed with the moist heat rising from the drink calmed her senses. But a loud thud and crack ringing out through the living room and into the kitchen had her racing for the bathroom.

She pounded on the door with a balled fist, ignoring the pain that shot through her petite hand when it crashed into contact with the unyielding wooden door.

"Mac?!" Panic began to set in when she heard no answer. Stella found herself twisting the handle and pushing the door wide before her mind caught up to her actions.

Mac stood underneath the frigid spray of the shower; he hadn't bothered to turn on the hot water when he stumbled in, barely being able to rid himself of his clothes fast enough. How much time had elapsed his frayed mind couldn't recall, all he could remember was the drowning anger that he swallowed back. It burned like acid in his throat and tears stung his eyes, threatening to fall. He now stared at his bloodied fist, moving his tormented eyes from the hole in the plaster and tile of the shower wall, back to his hand. The pain helped to steady him, and moments later he was able to comprehend pounding at the door. He heard Stella call his name with concern etched deep into her voice. But he didn't answer. He didn't want to be Mac Taylor today; he didn't want to be the marine, the widower, the only witness to Clay Dobson's suicide jump, and most of all he didn't want to be the man blamed for a father never being able to bury his daughter. _"Only he knows. Only he knows where he buried her. And because of you I'll never get her back, I'll never get my Lilly back, my baby girl."_ The words spoken by a man who held a gun to Mac, in a crowded street. The words that would stay with him now, seared into his memory, like the sight of those buildings collapsing with his wife still inside, like the memory of holding a young marine in his arms as shrapnel tore through him.

In a moment Stella was before him, wrapping his bloodied fist in a hand towel. She said nothing to him, knowing that wherever he was right now, words couldn't possibly help. She stared at him for a moment, and somewhere in the back of his mind it registered that he was completely naked, but the fog that had taken his brain captive, the one that was attempting to shield him from the agony he would not be able to prevent if left with his own thoughts, also prevented him from telling her to get out. He couldn't push her away, he needed her to tell him that he would be ok, that the whole damn world would be ok if they could just get through tonight.

Stella had acted so quickly when she saw Mac hurt that the alarms had been delayed, but were now sirening shrilly in her head. _Mac Taylor, your boss, your best friend, guy you have major feelings for…naked._ Stella kept her gaze fixed on his chest while she steadied her breathing, he was grieving and the last thing he needed was her being curious. But when his subtle trembling registered, something inside her broke. She slowly shifted out of her top, discarded her shoes and rid herself of her pants. She leaned against him and reached around to turn the faucet. The water slowly warmed, and Stella's black panties and bra became soaked within moments. But it didn't matter. Tomorrow this would affect everything, their job, their friendship, and their lives. But tonight…tonight he needed to be held.

Her jade green eyes met his as he finally succumbed to the tears that would cascade down his cheeks. She held him, pressing herself as close as physics would allow them to be. He trembled in her arms as he let the sobs wrack through him, wrapping his arms around her thin frame, needing to be re-assured that she was there, that he hadn't made mistakes yet that he couldn't fix, that she was alive and ok.

When Stella felt his trembling subside and the tears stop coming full force, she kissed his neck softly, turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. A still hazy Mac followed her. She gently toweled off his chest, her fingers lingering on the small scar that marred the slightly bronzed skin just parallel to his hip, she remembered him telling her about being at summer camp and having his appendix almost burst. She wrapped the towel around his waist, her hand brushing against the tickling hairs than ran from the center of his naval downward. She wrapped herself in another towel, pulling the first aid kit out of the bathroom cabinet. Mac clenched his teeth as she swabbed with antiseptic, Stella was thorough and made sure there were no tile fragments left within the wound before bandaging it.

Mac followed her willingly to the bedroom, but stopped right beside the bed, mirroring her actions.

Stella knew what Mac had shown her tonight would forever affect how they treated each other. But to be honest, she felt the most loved she ever had. Because he had trusted her, he hadn't pushed her away, he had let her in, and godammit it hurt more than anything to see the pain that plagued him, but the joy at knowing it was her and only her in this world that he trusted enough to do so with, made it all she ever dreamed it would be.

She slowly dropped the towel, keeping her gaze diverted away from his. Her hands reached behind her back in a show of flexibility to unhook her bra and let it slide down her arms. Mac said nothing; he knew this was her showing him that they were equal…in everything. He moved back the comforter and slid under the sheets; momentarily adjusting to the sensation of fabric on his naked body…it had been a while since he had a reason to be naked in bed. Stella followed his lead, but turned away from him in bed. Mac placed a soft kiss to the inside of her temple, his left arm draping around her waist and holding her closer.

"Stella, I…" He started to whisper softly.

"Tomorrow Mac."

Yes, tomorrow. Tomorrow they would worry and analyze and fret. But tonight, they would heal, and hold each other. Letting tomorrow come of its own accord.

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**Please give me thoughts, feedback, etc. Do you think they had sex or just held each other all night. Would you like me to attempt a follow-up chapter? It's all up to you. Just press the green button!**


	9. South of the border

**After a compelling arguement from my totally awesome readers(whom I love very much) I have decided to start working on a second segment of chapter 8. It will be up in a little while. This is not it. This is a totally seperate moment fic that will also have a second chapter if you deem fit. I like doing role reversal...so this is essentially a role reversal of Stella and her gynecological endevour. This time it's Mac. I hope you like it. Please review and tell me what you would like to see in both the continueing of chapter 8 as well as this fic. Love you people!**

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Stella clicked the mouse aimlessly as she closed all the documents on her computer for the night. It had been two long days since she, or any of the team for that matter, had gone home. But as usual, their hard work paid off and there was no longer a serial killer on the loose in New York. Now her mind shifted into priority mode: the first of which being Mac Taylor. She could tell he hadn't been feeling well for the past few days, but it was his lack of connection with her that had put him at the top of the priority list; not that he wasn't up there anyway, but right now he came even before sleep and eating.

Flicking out the lights in her office she rolled her shoulders as she walked through the vast corridor of the lab, trying to relieve the tension the past few days had installed there. All the analyzing machines purred happily in their sleep state, blue lights flickered on and off making the entire lab look like an airport seen from high above on a pitch black night. She passed Mac's office where files sat askew on his desk, two post-its stuck to his phone, a reminder that with serial killers, came the media. The light switch was on, but the motion sensing lights that conserved energy were off, signaling that he'd been gone for a few minutes. Stella reasoned he was most likely in the bathroom in light of his recent frequent trips.

Mac heard the clicking of Stella's shoes long before she entered the communal locker and bathrooms. He carefully zipped his pants and moved away from the urinal, his body protesting his every move. The cool water of the sink steadied his mind and he wished he could splash it elsewhere, where a tender ache had set in. He drew in a shaky breath and stepped out into the locker room where he knew Stella would be waiting for him.

She sat on the floor up against the far wall, ankles crossed. He had expected her to immediately start analyzing him; after all she always knew when something was up. But all he saw was a warm smile, tired green eyes and his grey marines sweat shirt adorning her features. He felt himself loosen up slightly, a warm feeling in his chest helping to distract him from the pain that plagued him below the waist. She patted the tile floor beside her, and he hesitated momentarily before joining her. But that was the giveaway. Stella watched as he winced when he sat, her mind immediately tallying up what that meant.

"What hurts Mac?" He sighed and rubbed his left hand along the calluses on the palm of his right.

"I'm fine Stell." It was a lie and she would see right through it, but he had to try.

"Bull shit." Mac's head reared up, momentarily brought out of his own musing by such a foul word coming from her pretty mouth. She interrogated suspects with that mouth, but never did she talk to him with it.

"Excuse me?"

"Mac I want to know what's bothering you. You clearly haven't been feeling well and you've been acting strange as hell. Usually when that happen you need someone to listen. So I'm here. Talk." She angled her body towards him and pinned him with glassy green eyes. He stared right back for a moment before his eyes fell to his lap, where the problem lay.

"I'm just a little tired." She knew he had insomnia, but that wouldn't be enough to cause Mac Taylor to wince.

"Come on Mac, please. Whatever it is, if it's bothering you it merits being talked about."

"Stella…it's just…look its personal." He ended softly.

"I know."

"You know?" Mac felt a heat wave of embarrassment wash over him. Stella chuckled softly and took his hand.

"It's ok Mac. I just know it's you we're talking about, you're obsessively private which is ok, I don't blame you at all for it. But today when Lindsay called your name in the hall you had a haunted deer in the headlights look. What's up?"

Mac stared at her hand in his. He drew a line from her knuckle to her index finger and back slowly.

"I've been having some pain in my lower abdomen and in my…well…never mind." He went to remove his hand from her, but she clamped on and wouldn't let go. A soft smile played on her lips before she turned clinical.

"How much pain?" Mac sighed and resigned himself to asking the questions.

"A little more than some."

"Mac you're the strongest most stubborn person I know, if it's enough pain to make you wince than this is something you need to get checked out. Do you have any other symptoms?"

Mac basked momentarily in her compliment before the blush crept across his nose and cheeks.

"A few." Stella raised her eyebrows at him, clearly wanting him to continue. Now they were really in uncharted territory. He looked at her comfortably wearing his marine sweatshirt. She did this from time to time when she got cold or was in a cuddly mood, she would steal it from his locker and put it on, pushing up the long sleeves and playing with the hood ties. He would never admit it to anybody but he loved when she did this, leaving it in his locker nicely folded and smelling like grapefruit and watermelon, the smell that he had come to know as uniquely her. If there was anyone he was going to confide in, it would be Stella.

"Some tenderness and swelling, and some weird discharge after I took a nap this afternoon." He mumbled softly. Admitting to Stella that he had essentially had what seemed to be a wet dream at his age on the couch in his office was not something he enjoyed much, but sharing his worries with someone else felt like an immense weight lifted off his shoulders. Stella raised her left hand to turn his cheek towards her, so they were staring eye to eye. She ran her thumb over his check bone before dropping it down to her side again.

"Thank you." She stated softly. A look of confusion passed over his face.

"For what?"

"For trusting me enough to tell me all that. It's one of the biggest compliments I'll ever get Mac. It means a lot, so thank you." He smiled softly for the first time in three days. Stella stood, pulling a stiff Mac with her. She began to lead him out of the locker room.

"Where are we going?" He asked, not exactly caring at the moment.

"Internet research."

Mac leaned over the computer, the colorful letters of Google gleaming at him. Stella flowed into the room with two cups of coffee; placing one in front of him she pulled a chair next to him behind his desk. His finger stayed motionless above the keyboard. Taking a sip of her still steaming coffee Stella narrowed her eyes at him before asking.

"Why the intermission Mac?" He pulled his hands back into his lap and looked at her.

"Sorry Stell, it's just a little hard to Google 'causes for enlarged groin' with you sitting next to me."

Stella chuckled softly and placed her coffee mug on the desk. She curled her feet under her after kicking off her shoes. Slowly she reached for Mac's hand, the soft pressure of hers pulling him to a standing position and then to kneeling in front of her. Mac closed his eyes and leaned into her touch as she caressed his cheek. Opening his eyes to the most beautiful woman in the world he pulled Stella into his arms and held her. She rubbed his back in small circles as she hugged him back.

"What if I'm sick Stell? What if it's cancer or something else…" His voice was hoarse against the curve of her neck.

"Then we'll handle it together Mac. You and me ok? No secrets, no withholding things, we can do it. I promise I'll be there the whole way." She pulled back slightly and kissed him lightly on the mouth. Surprised when he lengthened the kiss, but not at all unhappy. Mac let his lips linger over hers as long as he could before he felt they both needed to breathe. Stella embraced him again, but was careful not to put too much of her weight against him, wary of causing him pain.

"It's ok Stella, I want to be able to really hold you." He whispered against the top of her curls.

"Will you show me where it hurts?" She asked, pulling away from him slightly, just in time to see him redden and look down. She laughed slightly.

"Not that Mac. I mean you stomach." He nodded and placed two fingers over the lower left side of his abdomen. She placed her hand in the same place and massaged softly, with each stroke adding more pressure. After a few minutes Mac stopped her hand.

"It hurt like hell when I touched it earlier, what'd you do?" He was amazed, the tightness in hisgroin was still present, but his stomach ache was gone.

"You were having small muscle spasms in the soft tissue." She answered clinically

"How in the world did you know that?" Mac asked with raised eyebrows, very much amused.

"I'm a woman Mac. Twenty years of menstrual cramps and you learn a thing or two." She smiled teasingly.

"You're telling me I have PMS?" Stella and Mac both chuckled.

"You can get muscle spasms from just about anything: stress, sitting or sleeping in a funny position, injury…and tons of other stuff. I have no idea what's going on for you further south. But your stomach should be fine." She returned to leaning her body against him, feeling him wrap his strong arms around her frame.  
"You'll make a doctor's appointment right?"

"First thing tomorrow morning. No more secrets I promise."

He kissed her softly on the cheek. They both once again headed for the locker room, marveling at just how many secrets, revelations and connections had been revealed and made tonight. Mac still felt the twisting fear in his chest, but now he knew that he wasn't alone in handling it. For the first time in years Mac silently prayed that he would be ok. He had something to live for now. He had someone to live for.

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